Gain Sales Esteem by Avoiding 2 Common Sales Insecurities


There are two common missteps that make you lose sales and they are easy to fix once you see the whole picture.

1)    Over talking. (Too much information)

2)    Over comforting people.

Overtalking undermines your good intentions and dilutes your message. Since too much of anything is no good the same goes for lots of explaining. The longer you go the greater the odds for losing them. You think you are being thorough and you might not realize that you are shooting yourself in the foot. Be careful, we ladies are talkers; we say 3x more words per day on average than men. This is good and bad.

We are expressive and make awesome teachers and presenters. Sometimes we get carried away with details and features and skip over what matters to them. Rx. Keep it emotional and factual—short and sweet—let them know what’s the gain?

Tip: A cop once told me how he was trained to handle domestic violence calls. He said what he learned worked on the job and in real life and I never forgot it. Don’t start off super strong because you can’t easily back off. However, you can always ramp up. You can share more information if you are asked for it but you can’t take back what you have already spilled.


Over comforting is another deal breaker. Over coddle and you take away the need for a customer to take action. Some empathy is good but too much is counter productive. Since you are empathetic, compassionate and caring it makes you credible, trustworthy and nice to do business with. When it hurts you is when you’ve made a persuasive and strong presentation that strikes a chord and you become uncomfortable and you rush to comfort them. If they pause and verbalize hesitation you don’t need to run to their aid—know that smart people talk out loud and be patient for a few beats.

Avoid a patronizing “Ahhh, I am so sorry…” followed by, “ You don’t really need this.” Or, “You can do it yourself.” That might be true. If you feel it’s mean not to comfort them or that you are being manipulative by illuminating a sore spot—STOP— it’s not. Rx. It’s not for you to decide if they need something or can or can’t do it themselves or afford it. You can help them by selling your product or service and delivering them what you promised.

Tip: If comforting people is what you enjoy doing let me reframe it for you. You can comfort people by making things easy for them, by simplifying their life, their condition, and their situation and demonstrating the transformation they will experience you are half way home. The more comfortable you are with your emotions the more comfy you will be with theirs. Practice sitting with discomfort and watch how things change when you hold your tongue an extra beat.



More High Quality Friends = More Business & A Better Life

Ethel Barrymore nailed it when she said “It’s really good to have friends before you need them.” Cultivating circles of friends is critical to your survival not to mention having a laugh and making a living. But busy women don’t often think they have the time to develop new friendships and we aren’t always willing to be strategic about courting the ones that will benefit us. Heaven forbid we are seen as too opportunistic or concerned for ourselves. But we must choose wisely and your parents were right when they said who your friends are speaks volumes about you.

Everything has to do with your ability to be a good friend and deliberately seek out friends according to their caliber…who they know, what they do well, what they bring to your party and what they can do for you. No, I am not saying you need to ditch your friend who just lost her job, whose parent died or is in a funk right now. I know someone is thinking how cold I am being and how I seemed like a nice girl in my past postings… bear with me please–because we have to look at this.  (This in itself is the root cause of why people spend time courting the wrong prospects–btw.)

If you consider yourself a nice, kind or a good girl this all flies in the face of how we are groomed. We take care of others, we do the right thing and we watch out for the underdog so we find ourselves tired rather than energized. Developing and leveraging your connections is really important. Your portfolio of friends needs to be diverse and only you can decide based on your values and objectives where these people will come from. So before diving into how you can scout -the most important thing is that you need to seek friends who will support your growth and contribute in meaningful ways to you and vice versa. New friends should be on an adventure themselves and since they are they are generally more encouraging, optimistic, curious, and resourceful and creative minded…oh and interesting too. In their presence you feel everything is possible and you don’t have to apologize or reel it in or dial it back.

Be on the look out for:
Women who are on a path you’d like to be on yourself.
People who have a knack for attracting money.
Seasoned women with advanced degrees and graduated from School of Hard Knocks.
Activists with a cause.
People in key positions.
Women affiliated with spiritual organizations, religious, political organizations.
Women who golf, play tennis, mountain-bike or dance, sing, drum.
Friends of friends.
You get the idea. Appreciate your own brilliance since you have something valuable to offer others too.

If you know any amazing people you think I should connect with please make an introduction.

Want to Know How to Sell Better?


Scientists say our mind processes through stories. Back in the day, the boys would urge us to just get to the point. Give your prospects the unemotional, skimmed-down value proposition.

Come on – speak English. Three bullet points don’t move me. If you explain how a car has air bags, heated seats and four on the floor, am I supposed to get excited? How about: on a rainy night, Jill had her 3 year old in the back seat and was hit by a small truck. The car rolled three times but they weren’t even scratched. Thank goodness for the sensor that forewarned her, the side airbags and the system that alerted AAA.

You see how stories are powerful and sexy? Use them in your pitches and casual mini-meetings. Stories sway prospects so they make up their minds and take action. Stories can demonstrate your expertise and clarify your position and point of view. They help distinguish you from others in your field. Best of all, they give the listener something they can repeat.

A good story can go viral so prospects and customers become your personal PR machines. So it really pays to practice creating and structuring your story until it’s so good that you like it and you can’t wait to tell it, again and again. When you do this foundation work your selling will be easier.

Stories are also effective because they break the tension. Since telling a story is just sharing yours or a customer’s experience, people won’t argue with you. They may take exception to the story but not to you. Stories don’t bring up defenses – they deliver a point. Best of all, they entertain and educate and can drive a decision in your favor. And they are fun to tell and best yet, you won’t forget yours.

You are a storyteller – it’s in you. Step into the shoes of your customers, sense what they are thinking and feeling, and deliver a story that will move them. I can make the process painless for you; Email me or call (310) 463-7815 if you need some help.