Use the Power of the Pause.

July 15, 2011 By Leave a Comment

 

A majority of us dread the sound of dead air. We try to fill up the quiet because it’s deafening. You are not alone here; pregnant pauses induce uncomfortable feelings. When we are presenting an idea and it is met with silence, our imaginations go wild. We believe the customer might say “I hate it,” “I hate you,” “This is the worst product idea I’ve ever heard,” “It costs way too much,” and “You are a fraud.”

So before we hear anything we might not like, sometimes we throw something in just to be sure they “get” what we are trying to put forth. We cut “fantasy” (because we don’t know if it’s true or not) bad news off at the pass. This is a sucker’s move.

When you propose something during what feels like an awkward moment of truth, and it gets quiet and they are contemplating – DO NOTHING. WAIT. Yes, it will seem like an eternity, but wait for a beat or two. Practice being with the quiet, and it will get easier. She who speaks first isn’t in the power position.

When the customer does respond, instead of employing a knee-jerk reaction, digest what she’s finally said. Buy time and clarify by asking, “Were you saying… ?” If you don’t wish to ask directly, you can be psychic and try to read into what they’ve just said by playing it back to them with your interpretation. If they say, “No, I didn’t mean it that way,” than either your listening is off or your prospect is confused, playing/testing you, or her/his phrasing is just unclear. That’s when you should ask them to repeat it. This way you get on the same page.

Try some self-psych self-talk by saying this: “I am able to handle whatever comes my way.” Make it a habit to count, “1, 1000, 2, 1000, 3, 1000,” in your head so you give customers time to formulate a reply. This also keeps you busy so you don’t blurt.

As you allow for more silent spaces when you have conversations with friends, kids, mates and customers, you will find how they enjoy being heard and trust you more. Once that happens, you can continue to advance the sales conversation and confidently head to the close.

Filed Under: relational selling, Sales confidence, stress reduction, Uncategorized, woman sellers Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Maybe Balancing is Bunk

June 23, 2011 By Leave a Comment

 

I am in a crunch right now. The intensity of rolling out a new product has cranked up the number of hours I sit at my computer (which doesn’t thrill me). I am a people person. But I am noticing how I’ve changed in the last year, since I am willingly and joyfully breaking away to grab more yoga classes to cool off my nervous system. This is a breakthrough because although I’ve read so many articles about balance, I’ve often failed to take total control over my time and have put my well-being last on the list.

Who hasn’t? We hear and read about balance; there are tons of tools available to make us more efficient too. Yet, we are spinning out more than ever. Every woman I know is either striving to be better or postponing. Vowing that once we clean we will vacation, exercise or have drinks with friends. Balance seems like bunk.

Maybe we need to manage better, like my husband says. Or perhaps, like my meditation teacher says, it’s about flow. How about self-regulation? Here’s a practice that takes all my might, and when you do it you can be in control more than usual. It’s what I’ve been playing with.

  • Push and than back off just a little.
  • Engage fully and later let go and surrender.
  • Honker down and trust the universe, spirit, light beings, God to intervene; let go and receive.

In spin classes, you do interval training and pump really hard until the teacher says “Release the tension of the road.” For a brief moment, your legs are being pulled in circles effortlessly. Life is like that — there’s a force there to assist if we let it.

Life doesn’t have to be a 24/7-spin cycle. You can willfully regulate it, vary the intensity and length of stress and relax. But the idea of equal proportions of Zen and crazy busy can make you nuts. Some days will be more demanding and you will be able to do more with greater grace and clarity if you give yourself the gift of downshifting. Forget the balance B.S—it’s too annoying.

Filed Under: balance, self love, stress reduction, women entrepreneurs Tagged With: ,