Should you trust your intuition?

Yes and no. Intuition when preceded by the word “women’s” and said by men or manly women cheapens it— implying it’s unreliable, weird or just too mysterious to bank on. That’s why we turn our backs on this marvelous gift instead of harnessing the power.
You can call it trusting your gut, using your belly brain or getting a hit—and you’ve experienced how reliable it is. That’s because ladies catch concepts and notice patterns and put it all together in our library of a brain for later use. And like profiling, when we experience something similar to what we have known we recognize the larger picture and viola we receive a message. A flash of inspiration that says, “the last time someone told you that in this context it worked out horribly—don’t go for it.” Or a picture or a feeling that makes you want to bolt. This happens in a blink of a eye at a subconscious level.
Helen E. Fisher says that our brain circuitry evolved so we could size up people and situations that threatened our survival and being able to tune in allowed women to save their babies. This is why women have an edge when it comes to reading people. With thousands of years of development you need to understand that we are accessing something amazing. At the very least –listen to the hunches and couple it with logic to double check your belly brain.
Intuition is one more tool for making choices.
Here’s when you can trust the reliability:
1) When you have experience in something your instincts will be sharper. For example, you grew up driving in extreme weather conditions so even though you might live in Florida or California you need to honor your instincts to stay home when it pours.
2) When your body talks to you. If you feel exhausted, get a horrible headache or experience pain when you are around a prospective customer than something is “off” and wrong, this may not be a great fit. ( If you are skeptical see if you can’t find someone who knows them and get a beat on them.)
3) When you are going to invest beaucoup bucks or time notice your feeling and check it. If you are going to spend thousands on a course that promises the world and it feels wrong you need to sleep on it. If you are going to spend lots of time on a project—check to see if it feels right. Use your logic and check on it —see if there are lots of bad reviews.
Intuition isn’t 100% reliable. But it’s a valid tool for making choices and a very cool GPS. I use it to follow my joy. If someone feels good and it feels right I trust it and proceed.  Here’s the caveat—when it feels really right it’s rarely wrong. My buddy created a live website on spec for a company, her partner warned her not to go all out because she only had 24 hours to do it. She ignored his advice because she had strong chemistry with the prospect and the deal worked out to be a $30K+ deal that went well beyond website development. She told me she just knew. We need intuition and logic to prosper in this economy—don’t ignore half of your brain. 

Is Manipulative A Bad Word?

 

Few words pack a punch like the word “manipulate”. Over the years when I say that it’s good to be aware of the emotional triggers that make buyers buy, I invariably hear, “That would be manipulative!” I say, “Really?”

Words like “bossy” rank up there with “manipulation”. They are social “don’ts.” That is why I love how Tina Fey embraced her boss self (Ms. Bossypants.) It’s given me permission to embrace my bossiness and not reject my sometimes decisive nature. Tina has a sense of humor about her bossiness and surely has learned to enjoy the payoff of taking charge of her life. So, is it really a bad thing or just something we need to put into perspective? I think the latter. Once we can be honest with ourselves, it allows us to make peace with our nature and own our power.

So let’s have a little healing today. Here’s the definition of MANIPULATE (verb).

Handle, manage, work, operate, control, employ.

And also:

influence, work on, move, motivate, direct, lead, conduct, steer.

Here’s the stuff you don’t like:

take advantage of, plot, scheme and engineer.

Okay, so let’s be honest now. Few of us haven’t pushed a button or two. You’ve done this in getting your kids to go to bed on time or in convincing your mate eat healthier. You may have even promised to cut him off from special favors if he doesn’t slim down. You know how to move people, and many times they thank you later. Isn’t that manipulation? Maybe it feels better to say “premeditated planning” or “propositioning”.

You aren’t looking to pull a fast one. Therefore your words aren’t manipulative in a bad sense since they come from the right place, are for the highest good for all concerned and are helping the receiver change in ways they only dreamed. Being conscious about how you are going to activate others is not only acceptable, it’s necessary. Necessary because you are in business to help people and make money (aka profit from your activities). And people don’t take action very easily or quickly in some cases. So go ahead and tap into emotional triggers to activate prospects. It’s your job to influence, direct and lead using those triggers so you can easily shepherd people past their indecision, uncertainty, and limited thinking to get over their pain and enjoy more pleasure.

Ladies, pre-plan like crazy and create offers that you know will work and are hard to resist. Between you and me, I don’t really think we are afraid of being manipulative. I think we fear getting it so right that we feel as though we are cheating, fudging and not working hard enough. Please think about your innate powers and use them. Don’t pretend you don’t have them. Use more mindful manipulation and enjoy the outcome.

Tell me what you think about this topic! Right on? Icky?

Stress makes you Stupid: Conscious Distraction through music is the RX

 

Who has time for play? I used to say that. While I didn’t think I needed it, I’d sneer at woman who made time to play tennis, dance or paint. Why were they wasting their time? Until I moved to California and was obviously a little jealous that people could actually work AND have fun. I never thought I’d be saying stress makes you stupid. I thought stress made me serious and gave me an edge. But knee-jerk reactions to situations aren’t your best response. Dare to bend your assumptions about what’s good for you and what’s bad. Working harder is bad. Unwinding is good. Working harder without knowing why is a way to avoid reality is denial. Letting go and airing out is renewal and you need it when you are really under stress.

Having greater clarity and awareness is what you want to have. To achieve it, you need to do things that will reboot and reset your brain. It’s a brain break. It will help you end ruminating thoughts even if it’s for an hour. You will shift from “OMG, OMG the sky is falling!” to “OMG, there is a God and life isn’t as bad as I thought.” You’ll have clarity and be able to focus on the key 2 things you need to do today instead of the 2 zillion things.

If this inner calm and discernment sounds like Nirvana, it is. It’s why people practice yoga or become hooked on drumming, dancing or painting or praying. They get a glimpse of something. They get out of their way and the veil of deception and busyness is lifted for a moment. It’s a delicious tease, and you want more

Try listening to great music. It doesn’t matter if it’s Classical or Reggae. The music you resonate with and like will have a positive effect on you. The Greeks recognized the healing effects of music. Avram Goldstein, a neuroscientist at Stanford University concluded back in the 80’s that music releases endorphins, the body’s natural mood booster and painkiller. The Cleveland Clinic studied 40 people with chronic pain. Half of them listened to music of their choice for a week and experienced 21% less pain and 25% less depression than those who didn’t. So create your own happy, upbeat song tracks and walk at lunch and listen to them. You will be tuning out the noise from the office and receive a hormone high.

My zombie track: If you are in LA, 1260 AM is called retro music and I love the double shot of Frank at the lunchtime hour. All Sinatra all the time makes me sing out loud and off key, and I have more confidence to “Do it My Way.”